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Content From 2008-05-01

The Great American Blink-A-Thon

Lifetime 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT With every blink of the eyes of celebrities Armand Assante, Olympic gymnast Amy Chow, and Louie Anderson, UNICEF gets another penny.

Padres Game Sunned Out

SAN DIEGO—Following a two and half hour delay for heavy sunshine Monday, umpire Charlie Reliford canceled the game between the Padres and...

Kobe Bryant

The hype about Kobe Bryant cannot be denied, but can it be amplified?

Hospital-Record Snoop Indicted

A former administrative specialist at the UCLA hospital was indicted for illegally accessing the medical records of some celebrities, including...

Worst NFL Draft Picks 2008

Grading the annual NFL Player Draft is an inexact science, but some selections are obviously wrong from the start. Onion Sports runs down this...

Dean: One Candidate Must Quit

Democratic Party chairman Howard Dean said that, in order to maintain party unity, either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama would have to drop out of...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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ABC

9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

New team member Nanny Lawton starts with the pinky and will keep going until she gets some bloody respect.

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