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Content From 2011-04-11

Branson To Dive To Uncharted Depths

Virgin Group chairman Richard Branson is set to explore the uncharted depths of the ocean in a custom-built submarine he will copilot. What do you think?

Detroit Pistons JumboTron Not Even Trying Anymore

AUBURN HILLS, MI—Making flippant remarks about the game such as "BASKETBALL GAME HAPPENING NOW" and "WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS?" the Detroit Pistons' JumboTron has reportedly stopped trying to pretend to care abou...

Congress Cuts Funding For 26-Year-Old Stepson

WASHINGTON—Leaders from both parties announced Tuesday that Congress has voted to cut funding for its 26-year-old stepson, Jeremy, whose education and living expenses have been federally subsidized since he and his mother moved in with the legislative branch in 1998.

Oh, God, Area Man Making His Move

BRIGHTON, NY—Patrons of the Full Moon Tavern are reporting that oh, God, area man Darrell Barnes is walking right up to that beautiful woman sitting by the window.

The Oprah Winfrey Show

SYNDICATED Check local listings Today: The studio audience turns on Oprah when she only gives everyone a set of bath beads.

Zip-Lining Day Trip To Somehow Save Marriage

CONCORD, NH—According to sources, the deteriorating 10-year-old marriage of Dale and Gina Byer will somehow be magically restored this weekend by a zip-lining excursion to the mountains of northern New Hampshire.

Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing

COLUMBUS, OH—Audience members at Crossroads Cinema were treated to an unexpected delight Friday when someone in the crowd shouted out a hilarious thing at the exact right moment, sources reported.

Beck: Trump Making Me 'Uncomfortable'

Talk show host Glenn Beck said that he’s "a little uncomfortable" with some of Donald Trump's claims about Obama's birth certificate and that the nation doesn't need a "show boat." What do you think?

Dennis Rodman

Seven-time rebounding champion and five-time NBA title winner Dennis Rodman was just elected to the Baskeball Hall of Fame. Was he any good?

Castle

ABC 10 p.m. EST / 9 p.m. CST Tonight, mystery-writer-cum-crime-solver Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) teams up with Murder, She Wrote star Angela Lansbury to solve the case of a television producer who died under suspicious circumstances during a p...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

You Know, That Show

CBS, Maybe

Like 9-ish p.m. EDT/Somewhere around 8 p.m. CDT

Oh, jeez, it's got that mustache-guy who was in that other show from a long time ago. Um, it's kind of a new show, but not, like, that new, you know? It's not bad. Ugh, Jesus Christ, what's it called?

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