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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content

Home Depot Employee Can Tell This Customer’s First Attempt At Pipe Bomb

APPLETON, WI—Shaking his head Monday as the customer selected a length of plastic pipe over a stronger metal alternative and placed it into his shopping cart, local Home Depot sales associate Graham Warner, 57, was reportedly able to tell right away that this was the store patron’s first attempt at making a pipe bomb.
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10 Years Of Facebook

Facebook, which is now valued at $130 billion and boasts 1.2 billion monthly users, was launched 10 years ago Tuesday by Mark Zuckerberg in a Harvard dorm room. Here is a look back at milestone moments in the rise of the world’s leading social network:

  • 13,000,000,000 BC-2003: The world is a frightening and chaotic abyss where nobody knows what anyone else is eating
  • Feb. 4, 2004: At the age of 19, Harvard sophomore Mark Zuckerberg launches Facebook by building on classmates Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss’ idea of a website where identical twins can connect
  • Dec.12, 2005: Ugh, that one fucking girl from high school gets engaged
  • Sept. 19, 2007: Facebook redacts its controversial terms of use requiring all users to accept the tenets of Roman Catholicism
  • Mar. 22, 2010: Facebook employees crowd around a monitor and laugh their asses off at an embarrassing drunken love note you privately sent your ex
  • Jan. 5, 2011: Following the company’s announcement that they would be featuring sponsored advertisements, tens of millions of angry Facebook users vow to quit the site, deactivate their accounts, and to this day have never returned
  • July 11, 2012: For the first time in history, the share of 26-year-old users whose profile photo features them at Machu Picchu finally surpasses 50 percent
  • Feb. 4, 2014: You mindlessly post this link to your Facebook profile with some dumb caption

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