10 Years Of Facebook

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Vol 50 Issue 05

Fun Sticker Placed On Child's Ventilator

Fifty-seven women are stoned to death during the annual Riyadh fashion week, a frantic Biden searches a dog shelter for a Bo look-alike, and a fun sticker is placed on a child’s ventilator.

Report: It Too Soon To Glance Back At Attractive Person

PORTLAND—Citing the fact that you just made eye contact with her and doing so again right away might come across as creepy, a new report released today has confirmed that it’s still too soon to glance back at the attractive person behind you.

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With the 2014 Winter Olympics underway in Sochi, Russia, Onion Sports provides a comprehensive guide to the most exciting international athletes.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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10 Years Of Facebook

Facebook, which is now valued at $130 billion and boasts 1.2 billion monthly users, was launched 10 years ago Tuesday by Mark Zuckerberg in a Harvard dorm room. Here is a look back at milestone moments in the rise of the world’s leading social network:

  • 13,000,000,000 BC-2003: The world is a frightening and chaotic abyss where nobody knows what anyone else is eating
  • Feb. 4, 2004: At the age of 19, Harvard sophomore Mark Zuckerberg launches Facebook by building on classmates Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss’ idea of a website where identical twins can connect
  • Dec.12, 2005: Ugh, that one fucking girl from high school gets engaged
  • Sept. 19, 2007: Facebook redacts its controversial terms of use requiring all users to accept the tenets of Roman Catholicism
  • Mar. 22, 2010: Facebook employees crowd around a monitor and laugh their asses off at an embarrassing drunken love note you privately sent your ex
  • Jan. 5, 2011: Following the company’s announcement that they would be featuring sponsored advertisements, tens of millions of angry Facebook users vow to quit the site, deactivate their accounts, and to this day have never returned
  • July 11, 2012: For the first time in history, the share of 26-year-old users whose profile photo features them at Machu Picchu finally surpasses 50 percent
  • Feb. 4, 2014: You mindlessly post this link to your Facebook profile with some dumb caption
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