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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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2008 Bowl Game Highlights

Rose Bowl: Penn State is at a huge disadvantage when head coach Joe Paterno decides to coach the game from the Rose Parade's Garden of Oz float

Hawaii Bowl: Notre Dame defeats Hawaii 49-21 in a game that takes place entirely in Charlie Weis' shirt

Emerald Bowl: California won

New Mexico Bowl: Colorado State's Gartrell Johnson rushes for a career-high 285 yards against a team he's never heard of in a bowl game he's never heard of

New Orleans Bowl: By losing to Southern Mississippi in overtime, Troy continued its 3,000-year streak of losing in big matchups

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: With the bowl's name taking up so much space, newspapers had no room to print the final score of 17-

Sugar Bowl: Though heavy underdogs, Utah handily wins over Alabama, proving once and for all that Nick Saban is a douchebag

Papajohns.com Bowl: Rutgers WR Kenny Britt converts a key first down then immediately runs out of bounds to track his pizza order on papajohns.com

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