adBlockCheck

Sports

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.
End Of Section
  • More News

2009 NFL Training Camp Highlights

Matt Cassel asks his Chiefs teammates if anyone else feels like an idiot wearing a football helmet and shorts

Brad Childress and the Vikings' coaching staff hang a banner reading "Work Hard" against a wall, careful to hide the "Welcome, Brett!" message on the other side

Jets QB Mark Sanchez is excused from practice for 15 minutes to grab a quick HJ

The Eagles' offensive line erupts into a full-fledged brawl after right tackle Shawn Andrews resentfully complains that he never gets to snap the ball

The sound of footsteps sends the entire Lions receiving corps scrambling for the locker room

Eric Mangini disciplines the Browns by removing the licorice whip he's chewing on and lashing players with it

Peyton Manning uses afternoons to get caught up on the Colts' paperwork

Michael Vick completes a perfect handshake to Plaxico Burress as they respectively enter and exit Roger Goodell's office

More from this section

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close