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Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.
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2009 NFL Training Camp Highlights

Matt Cassel asks his Chiefs teammates if anyone else feels like an idiot wearing a football helmet and shorts

Brad Childress and the Vikings' coaching staff hang a banner reading "Work Hard" against a wall, careful to hide the "Welcome, Brett!" message on the other side

Jets QB Mark Sanchez is excused from practice for 15 minutes to grab a quick HJ

The Eagles' offensive line erupts into a full-fledged brawl after right tackle Shawn Andrews resentfully complains that he never gets to snap the ball

The sound of footsteps sends the entire Lions receiving corps scrambling for the locker room

Eric Mangini disciplines the Browns by removing the licorice whip he's chewing on and lashing players with it

Peyton Manning uses afternoons to get caught up on the Colts' paperwork

Michael Vick completes a perfect handshake to Plaxico Burress as they respectively enter and exit Roger Goodell's office

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