2010 MLB Playoff Preview

Top Headlines


Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
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2010 MLB Playoff Preview

As baseball's postseason begins, we take a hard look at each team's chances.

  • BRAVES: With Atlanta's shaky defense, lackluster end-of-season play, and aging manager, we can't stress enough that we put this team first on our list purely for alphabetical reasons
  • GIANTS: Opponents should be intimidated, mainly because the Giants are still around despite being the only playoff team in the postseason that didn't actually make the playoffs
  • RANGERS: It's almost a shame that Major League Baseball doesn't allow teams from Texas to win the World Series, as this team is pretty talented
  • RAYS: By toppling AL East powerhouses Boston and New York, Tampa Bay has become a cool team to root for and watch lose
  • PHILLIES: Though the starting rotation consists of all-stars Roy Oswalt, Cole Hamels, and Roy Halladay, Jamie Moyer's 7,000.42 ERA has to be of some concern
  • REDS: Nope
  • TWINS: Have a chance to compete against the best… Oh, wait, Justin Morneau is still injured? Three and out
  • YANKEES: Have a real shot at another World Series title if manager Joe Girardi makes the brave decision to start Alex Rodriguez at third base, keep Derek Jeter at shortstop, and play Mariano Rivera at pitcher every so often


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