2010 NBA Teams To Watch

Top Headlines


Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
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2010 NBA Teams To Watch

With basketball season once again upon us, Onion Sports takes a look at this year's best and most interesting teams.

  • Miami Heat: Gotta love those black and red uniforms
  • Oklahoma City Thunder: Durant and Westbrook are so good, this team may actually earn the chance to return to a real city this year
  • Chicago Bulls: Their offseason acquisitions will look even more impressive when they finish third instead of fifth
  • Boston Celtics: The only team in the league that gives you the opportunity to point to all the players on the court and explain to your son what each one was like 10 years ago
  • New York Knicks: With the addition of Amar'e Stoudemire, experts are now able to write one clause of a persuasive sentence about New York
  • Detroit Pistons: Will continue to embody the blue-collar ethos of their city but will also embody its depressed, bleak ethos
  • New Jersey Nets: With their new billionaire owner, the Nets are the only team in the league that will make you feel better about not being a billionaire
  • The Playoffs: If you only watch one thing in the NBA this season, make it the playoffs


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