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Sports

Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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2010 NBA Teams To Watch

With basketball season once again upon us, Onion Sports takes a look at this year's best and most interesting teams.

  • Miami Heat: Gotta love those black and red uniforms
  • Oklahoma City Thunder: Durant and Westbrook are so good, this team may actually earn the chance to return to a real city this year
  • Chicago Bulls: Their offseason acquisitions will look even more impressive when they finish third instead of fifth
  • Boston Celtics: The only team in the league that gives you the opportunity to point to all the players on the court and explain to your son what each one was like 10 years ago
  • New York Knicks: With the addition of Amar'e Stoudemire, experts are now able to write one clause of a persuasive sentence about New York
  • Detroit Pistons: Will continue to embody the blue-collar ethos of their city but will also embody its depressed, bleak ethos
  • New Jersey Nets: With their new billionaire owner, the Nets are the only team in the league that will make you feel better about not being a billionaire
  • The Playoffs: If you only watch one thing in the NBA this season, make it the playoffs
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