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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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2010 NBA Teams To Watch

With basketball season once again upon us, Onion Sports takes a look at this year's best and most interesting teams.

  • Miami Heat: Gotta love those black and red uniforms
  • Oklahoma City Thunder: Durant and Westbrook are so good, this team may actually earn the chance to return to a real city this year
  • Chicago Bulls: Their offseason acquisitions will look even more impressive when they finish third instead of fifth
  • Boston Celtics: The only team in the league that gives you the opportunity to point to all the players on the court and explain to your son what each one was like 10 years ago
  • New York Knicks: With the addition of Amar'e Stoudemire, experts are now able to write one clause of a persuasive sentence about New York
  • Detroit Pistons: Will continue to embody the blue-collar ethos of their city but will also embody its depressed, bleak ethos
  • New Jersey Nets: With their new billionaire owner, the Nets are the only team in the league that will make you feel better about not being a billionaire
  • The Playoffs: If you only watch one thing in the NBA this season, make it the playoffs

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