adBlockCheck

2010's Top College Football Recruiting Prospects

Top Headlines

Sports

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

2010's Top College Football Recruiting Prospects

With Signing Week upon us, Onion Sports runs down the prep stars who will soon make an impact on the college football scene.

  • C.J. Thurston: Has shown the consistently mediocre free safety play that would fit in perfectly with an Akron or a Central Michigan
  • Alex Carson: Quarterback has the talent, makeup, and complete inability to put the two together that will make him the perfect successor for Jimmy Clausen at Notre Dame
  • James Lowry: With his ability to stand upright and breathe, Michigan has been doing everything in its power to get this high school senior to make a verbal commitment.
  • Brett Favre: Has played on and off for Hancock North Central High over the past 25 seasons, swears he still has a year of college eligibility left
  • Frank Villani: 9 feet tall
  • Kyle Washington: The fact that this star quarterback has entered a bet to get the nerdiest girl in school to fall in love with him could turn away some recruiters; then again, he seems to genuinely like the girl now
  • Jordan Rutherford: Tall, slender, muscular, long-limbed, athletic, has a great frame, and you really just get lost in those deep blue eyes of his…. What were we talking about again?
  • Devin Smith: At a speedy 210 pounds, Smith will surely have a role on special teams as a freshman and will begin to see significant playing time his second year; by his junior year, he'll have met the girl of his dreams and will start focusing more on his architecture degree; at 45, he will have two beautiful daughters, a sizable home in North Carolina, and a real shot at being elected city councilman
  • WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

    Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

    Give your spam filter something to do.

    X Close