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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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2011 Hall Of Fame Finalists

Canton has released this year's list of players nominated for the Hall of Fame. We weigh in on who is and isn't deserving of football's highest individual honor.

  • Curtis Martin: As one of the top-10 all-time rushers, he should be voted in now before his records are replaced by far more athletic running backs
  • Andre Reed: A perfect candidate for the Hall of Fame now that all the better receivers have been inducted
  • Jerome Bettis: When it came to big, bumbling tubs of forward-falling lard, Bettis was the best of his era
  • Shannon Sharpe: May deserve to be in the Hall, but keep in mind that he would then be allowed to make a speech
  • Willie Roaf: Listen, we understand offensive linemen aren't supposed to score, but not even one touchdown? Come on
  • Cris Carter: With 1,101 career receptions, Carter had what could be considered the best hands in the league, as well as the best thighs and ass
  • Chris Hanburger: Nope
  • Deion Sanders: Recently held a gala ceremony inducting all 260 current Hall of Famers into the Deion Sanders Hall of Fame

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