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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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2011 In The Less Popular Sports

Any fan will tell you the big-name leagues aren't the whole sporting world. As time expires on 2011, we take a look at major accomplishments, happenings, and developments in the less popular sports.

  • The Bassmaster lockout ends quickly as lake owners just let striking bass flop around the shore until they're dead, then replace them with nonunion fish
  • Arena football continues, with many teams participating in the sport with various degrees of success
  • Virginia defeats Maryland to become NCAA champs in lacrosse, a sport that was astoundingly not renamed Sticklaunchers at any point this year
  • Shot-putter Greg Brighton persists in putting the hell out of that shot
  • Not one single bobsled was so much as touched, because nobody would ever do that when the Olympics aren't happening
  • Norwegian cross-country skier Petter Northug motivates himself to a win in the men's 50-km freestyle by reminding himself that if he collapses and freezes to death in the woods, no one will even know to look for him
  • St. Louis 10-year-old Mike Butler wins the Imaginary Super Bowl, the Imaginary World Series, and the Imaginary Olympics, inspiring his parents to get back together in his imagination
  • Silvano Alves breaks the all-time bull-riding record, continuing at it for hours, which at first thrills fans, then makes them dubious and angry, and then raises concerns for the life of the bull, who eventually dies of exhaustion to complete silence from attendees

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