adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

2011 NCAA Tournament Highlights So Far

The first two rounds of March Madness provided more than their share of great drama. Here are the moments that will live on long after the tournament is over:

  • John Calipari sets a personal best by committing almost no recruiting violations in the first half against West Virginia
  • Notre Dame loses in the second round to FSU, prompting Ben Hansbrough to contort his face into a mix of anguish, torment, disgust, and utter dejection all at once
  • Talor Battle sinks an off-balance three-pointer with less than 0.00 seconds left, so the basket does not count and Penn State loses
  • Richmond made this amazing play while you were watching the other game
  • Pittsburgh and Butler get a little too caught up in their side bet of which team can foul the other last
  • After Gonzaga's second-round loss, Adam Morrison is seen sobbing alone behind the Bulldogs bench
  • BYU players celebrate reaching the Sweet 16 by staying up all night at the hotel playing board games, swimming in the pool, and daring each other to drink coffee
  • Kenny Smith uses the word "immoral" to describe coaching violations, even though a man who drove drunk to get a blow job is sitting right next to him

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close