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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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2013 Heisman Trophy Favorites

With the race for the Heisman Trophy heating up, Onion Sports provides a helpful guide to college football’s most outstanding candidates.

  • Jameis Winston (QB, Florida State): Winston has the inside track to the trophy, but Johnny Manziel, AJ McCarron, and the Tallahassee Police Department are hot on his heels
  • Johnny Manziel (QB, Texas A&M): Johnny Football has a strong chance to become the first player in college football history to forfeit two Heisman Trophies
  • Tajh Boyd (QB, Clemson): After throwing for zero TDs through the first 10 weeks, he impressed voters with a 26-TD effort against Georgia Tech
  • Marcus Mariota (QB, Oregon): After looking like an NFL quarterback for the first eight games, Mariota looked even more so last week as he downplayed a knee injury
  • AJ McCarron (QB, Alabama): Has it all: poise, accuracy, good looks, arm strength, respect, and fame—but what about true love?
  • Teddy Bridgewater (QB, Louisville): Heisman voters often place an emphasis on how players fared in their biggest games, and Teddy Bridgewater was nothing short of excellent against Rutgers and University of Central Florida
  • Bryce Petty (QB, Baylor): He won’t win
  • Jordan Lynch (QB, Northern Illinois): Still the favorite pick among the majority of Heisman Trophy voters who don’t watch college football
  • Braxton Miller (QB, Ohio State): Hey, another fucking quarterback
  • Justin Solomon (CB, Cornell): This defensive back would be really, really surprised to win, which would be fun to see
  • Mike Evans (WR, Texas A&M): Good solid bland name that can easily be forgotten in a few years

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