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2013 Heisman Trophy Favorites

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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2013 Heisman Trophy Favorites

With the race for the Heisman Trophy heating up, Onion Sports provides a helpful guide to college football’s most outstanding candidates.

  • Jameis Winston (QB, Florida State): Winston has the inside track to the trophy, but Johnny Manziel, AJ McCarron, and the Tallahassee Police Department are hot on his heels
  • Johnny Manziel (QB, Texas A&M): Johnny Football has a strong chance to become the first player in college football history to forfeit two Heisman Trophies
  • Tajh Boyd (QB, Clemson): After throwing for zero TDs through the first 10 weeks, he impressed voters with a 26-TD effort against Georgia Tech
  • Marcus Mariota (QB, Oregon): After looking like an NFL quarterback for the first eight games, Mariota looked even more so last week as he downplayed a knee injury
  • AJ McCarron (QB, Alabama): Has it all: poise, accuracy, good looks, arm strength, respect, and fame—but what about true love?
  • Teddy Bridgewater (QB, Louisville): Heisman voters often place an emphasis on how players fared in their biggest games, and Teddy Bridgewater was nothing short of excellent against Rutgers and University of Central Florida
  • Bryce Petty (QB, Baylor): He won’t win
  • Jordan Lynch (QB, Northern Illinois): Still the favorite pick among the majority of Heisman Trophy voters who don’t watch college football
  • Braxton Miller (QB, Ohio State): Hey, another fucking quarterback
  • Justin Solomon (CB, Cornell): This defensive back would be really, really surprised to win, which would be fun to see
  • Mike Evans (WR, Texas A&M): Good solid bland name that can easily be forgotten in a few years

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