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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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2013 Spring Training Highlights

With baseball’s preseason heating up, Onion Sports examines the most exciting moments from the exhibition games.

  • Phillies and Yankees face off in the most well-attended game to be played in Tampa this year
  • Mariners manager Eric Wedge sighs and rubs his temples for the first time of the new season
  • Vin Scully spends the 17th of his 21 final days on Earth calling yet another baseball game nobody is listening to 400 miles away from his loved ones
  • The Padres beat the Rangers 1-0 after an epic 12-inning battle that left everyone wondering why they ever considered this game interesting
  • Four innings into a Cardinals-Braves exhibition game, players from both teams simultaneously get bored and walk off field
  • Derek Jeter successfully ignores the constant shooting pains in his ankle during a game against the Cardinals
  • Cubs fan Patrick Mitchell wondered to himself how life could be any better than watching his team play while lounging in the grass on a beautiful afternoon, then realized he was in Mesa, Arizona
  • Carlos Paulino knocks home the winning run for the Pirates in a thrilling extra-innings win over the Blue Jays to cement Pittsburgh’s 11th-place spot in the March 13 Grapefruit League standings
  • Six lucky Miami Marlins fans brought onto field to fill out team’s roster

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