adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

2014 NFL Players To Watch

Onion Sports has the comprehensive guide to the most exciting NFL players of 2014.

  • Peyton Manning (QB, Denver Broncos): Expect Manning to quickly bounce back from the Broncos’ crushing Super Bowl defeat with several huge ad campaigns early in the season
  • Ndamukong Suh (DE, Detroit Lions): Count on Suh to put up huge numbers in NFL fines this year
  • Drew Brees (QB, New Orleans Saints): Even at 35 years old, Brees still possesses the arm strength and pinpoint accuracy to run the score up against any shitty team
  • Robert Griffin III (QB, Washington Redskins): With a new head coach in Jay Gruden, RGIII is primed to shake off a disappointing, injury-riddled 2013 season and have a disappointing, injury-riddled 2014 season
  • Calvin Johnson (WR, Detroit Lions): The Lions star receiver will continue dominating opposing defenses, with his incredible stats expected to be as futile as ever this season
  • Eli Manning (QB, New York Giants): Manning has been a standout during Giants training camp, connecting regularly with favorite target Antrel Rolle
  • Joe Flacco (QB, Baltimore Ravens): Flacco definitely has something to prove this season, as he is only five years and $99.5 million away from a contract year
  • Adrian Peterson (RB, Minnesota Vikings): Peterson remains a top back in the league and is projected to rush for over 1,400 of the 3,100 yards left in his career
  • Johnny Manziel (QB, Cleveland Browns): The former Texas A&M star has all the attributes to be a breakout distraction for the Browns in his rookie season
  • LaMarr Woodley (DE, Oakland Raiders): The former Steeler will add a strong veteran presence to the Raiders’ injured reserve list
  • Tony Romo (QB, Dallas Cowboys): Romo will be a guaranteed first-round pick in every fantasy draft held in the immediate Dallas-Fort Worth metro area
  • Mark Sanchez (QB, Philadelphia Eagles): Now a backup, expect to see Sanchez on the sidelines roughly as much as he was while starting for the Jets
  • Ray Rice (RB, Baltimore Ravens): Rice is expected to have a very poor year based on last season’s stats and the greater forces of karmic retribution
  • Richie Incognito (OG, Free Agent): The winner of the OSN’s 2014 NFL Player Of The Year Award is sure to have another stellar season

More from this section

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close