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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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25 Years Of Al-Qaeda

Sunday marked the 25th anniversary of the founding of the global terrorist network al-Qaeda. Here are some of the milestone moments in the militant organization’s 25-year history:

  • Aug. 11, 1988: Founders Larry Wentworth and Mark Gold establish the organization and settle on a name
  • Nov. 14, 1990: Headquarters moved to Delaware for tax purposes
  • Dec. 18, 1991: Al-Qaeda pulls off the first of its trademark prankings
  • July 29, 1998: With Ayman al-Zawahiri excitedly ringing the New York Stock Exchange opening bell, al-Qaeda goes public at $18 a share
  • Mar. 3, 2002: PeopleSoft rolled out across the terrorist network to help operatives keep better track of hours and vacation time
  • Mar. 24, 2002: Al-Qaeda leaders secretly meet with Saddam Hussein in Dick Cheney’s imagination
  • July 30, 2002: Thanked in the liner notes to Bruce Springsteen’s The Rising
  • Oct. 15, 2005: Al-Qaeda’s audio/visual department spins off into an independent and highly successful media production company called Lucid Entertainment
  • Sept. 28, 2008: Forced to call off plot to destroy U.S. financial system after Americans take care of it themselves

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