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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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25 Years Of ‘The Rush Limbaugh Show’

Rush Limbaugh’s eponymous national radio show celebrates 25 years in syndication this Thursday. Here are some of the major moments in the conservative pundit’s controversial career:

  • 1988: Rush Limbaugh’s fledgling program receives initial grant from the National Endowment for the Arts
  • 1990: Gushing, weeklong praise of the movie Ghost
  • 1993: Enters a near nirvanic 19-day on-air trance in which he delivers a single uninterrupted rant against people on welfare wearing new clothes
  • 2000–2008: Pretty much cool with everything government does
  • 2004: Limbaugh’s third wife calls into the show to tell him she wants a divorce
  • 2006: Apologizes for exaggerated impression of Michael J. Fox’s Parkinson’s condition with a practiced, spot-on imitation
  • 2006: Uses the term “Project Massacre” followed by a sound effect of wind chimes to refer to the legalization of abortion
  • 2011: During a very slow news day, Frankie Muniz comes on the show

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