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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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50 Years Of Beatlemania

Fifty years ago Friday, the Beatles released their first single, “Love Me Do,” in the United Kingdom, touching off the global phenomenon known as Beatlemania. Here are some major milestones from the Fab Four’s legendary career:

  • Dec. 11, 1945: Only 5 years old, John Lennon writes his first original song, titled “Daddy Daddy,” and it’s fucking terrible
  • Oct. 28, 1961: Future Beatles manager Brian Epstein hears the band for the first time in a Liverpool record shop and instantly recognizes how awesome it would be to have sex with them
  • Sept. 15, 1962: Pete Best stops by real quick to pick up his snare
  • Feb. 4, 1964: An internal dispute over whose top is moppiest nearly tears the band apart
  • Mar. 11, 1967: Paul McCartney’s absentminded humming of the Bonanza theme song shoots straight to the top of the Billboard Hot 100
  • Nov. 22, 1967: A fully awake Paul McCartney is forced to deny rumors he is sleeping
  • Feb. 2, 1968: The Beatles visit Moscow, where they are heavily influenced by the teachings of the Russian Orthodox Church and incorporate more balalaika into their recordings
  • Jan. 30, 1969: From the rooftop of their record label’s headquarters, the Beatles perform together for the last time in front of dozens of passersby who watch in horror as band members topple off the building one by one
  • Aug. 8, 1969: After several dozen attempts, the photographer finally gets a shot of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road without Ringo looking directly into the camera
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