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50 Years Of James Bond

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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50 Years Of James Bond

British secret agent James Bond made his first appearance in American theaters 50 years ago Wednesday in Dr. No. Here are some of the most memorable moments of 007’s half century on the silver screen:

  • 1964: After cast and crew discover actress Shirley Eaton in her trailer dead and covered in gold paint, they decide to work it into the script and just go with it
  • 1966: Bond puts too much detergent in the washing machine, turning his bachelor pad into one big, soapy mess
  • 1967: Joey Heatherton makes her Bond debut as Swedish double agent Blood-Engorged Clitoris
  • 1969: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service becomes the first Bond film to employ a gun as a weapon, as opposed to the crossbows used exclusively in the first five films
  • 1977: The latest movie opens with an innovative credits sequence featuring dancing silhouettes and the film’s title projected onto the naked body of Roger Moore
  • 1979: Q shows Bond his latest invention, The Wacky Wobbler
  • 1985: Bond travels the world as security for Duran Duran
  • 2006: Daniel Craig is cast as 007 after being the only one to show up to audition

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