80-Year-Old Squirrel Demands Softer Nuts

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Vol 29 Issue 13

Area Man Collects All Four

CAMDEN, NJ—After several weeks of eating at various Camden-area participating Burger King restaurants, local resident Bert Gruhey has succeeded in collecting all four Star Wars glasses, according to a report published yesterday in the Wall Street Journal.
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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