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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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A History Of Head Injuries In Sports

The NFL is joining other sanctioning bodies in researching methods of preventing head injuries after studies revealed players have been suffering more frequent and more severe concussions in recent years. Onion Sports lists some sporting milestones in head safety:

1925: The facemask is added to leather football helmets as a response to the Decatur Staleys' unstoppable "punch in the face" defensive technique

1963: The NFL begins research on impact-resistant composite materials in an effort to devise a helmet that Mike Ditka will not eat

1967: After a rash of head injuries, the NHL increases required helmet thickness from 3/8 of an inch to 3/9 of an inch

1968: John Olerud born wearing batting helmet

1975: In a setback for safety in sports, Evel Knievel successfully campaigns in favor of injuries in general

1992: The NFL breathes a sigh of relief as it is discovered that Dennis Byrd of the New York Jets is paralyzed not by a preventable head injury but by a completely unpreventable spinal injury

1996: Baseball cringes as signs of head trauma become obvious in one of its star players when Atlanta Braves outfielder David Justice divorces Halle Berry

2001: Plagued by terrible ratings and low attendance, the XFL tries to figure out how to give more players concussions

2005: Following the tragic death of Dale Earnhardt, NASCAR mandates the use of full-face helmets after studies show they offer more advertising space

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