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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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A Look At The Class Of 2018

Next week, millions of freshmen will begin classes at colleges around the nation. Here’s a by-the-numbers look at the incoming class of 2018:

  • Admitted students at colleges across America have a collective SAT score of 9.8 trillion
  • 12 freshmen could pretty much write their ticket anywhere because they’re from Alaska
  • Students for whom this will be first time out of direct eyesight of parents: 85%
  • Weirdos who’ve never seen snow before: 27%
  • Number of times student will claim to eat ramen over college career: 5,000
  • Number of times student will actually eat ramen over college career: 26
  • Incoming students who will encounter a quad for the very first time: 98%
  • Amount of money students are projected to spend on professor’s “Optional, But Recommended Texts” over their four years in college: $0
  • The class of 2018 sports 99.989 percent fewer middy blouses, gaiters, and homburg hats than the class of 1918
  • Students who won’t bother saying goodbye to their stepdad before leaving: 37%
  • Average age of the mysterious older woman who sits in on several freshman classes: 62 years old
  • Average amount of student debt that will seem totally fictional until 2019: $43,000
  • Primary reason for attending college: Going to be somebody, not grease monkey like old man

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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