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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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A-Rod's Career Lowlights

1975: Born

1995: Sees Judge Dredd in the theaters for the third time in one week and keeps talking about what a great movie it is

1997: Befriends Ken Griffey, Jr. for the sole purpose of stealing his wife and winning the affection of Griffey's three children

1998: Thinks two-error game is as bad as things will get

1999: Meets Jose Canseco

2000: Surprisingly, signing a $252 million dollar contract turns out to be a mistake

2001: Cuts back slightly on steroid use after hitting 934-foot home run

2003: Stops taking steroids when he realizes that this is a good time to say he stopped taking steroids

2008: Leaves the All-Star Game early to cheat on his wife and take steroids

2008: During seventh-inning stretch of critical home game, A-Rod bites into third base while Madonna fucks him from behind with strap-on dildo

2009: Decides to leave his house

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