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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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A Troubled Sheen

After an all-night drug and sex party resulted in a trip to the emergency room, troubled actor Charlie Sheen announced that he would undergo rehab at home so he could continue shooting Two And A Half Men. Here is a timeline of other incidents that led him to this point:

  • 1980: Befriends Rob and Chad Lowe
  • 1986: Stars in Platoon and begins lifelong practice of smoking hash out of an M-16 rifle barrel
  • 1991: In a missed sign that something might be wrong, an especially frenetic Sheen films all of his scenes for Hot Shots! in one night
  • 1995–1998:  Sheen accepts a series of roles indicative of someone whose judgment has been severely impaired
  • 2003–2010: Sheen somehow wears cargo shorts for the better part of a decade without anyone even once checking the pockets
  • 2006: Becomes advocate for 9/11 truth movement and is forced to take more and more drugs to keep up with those weirdos
  • 2007: Realizes he hates self
  • 2009: A physically exhausted Sheen turns to stimulants to cope with the grueling number of double takes and eyebrow raises required for his role in Two And A Half Men
  • 2010: CBS implores Sheen to keep doing whatever the hell he wants, but with at least the tiniest goddamn bit of discretion

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