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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Academy Awards Highlights

Every year, the Oscars entertain Hollywood insiders and movie fans alike. Here are some of the more memorable and scandalous moments in the ceremony's 81-year history:

  • 1945: A nervous Barbara Stanwyck confesses she doesn't fully understand the double- indemnity clauses in some life insurance policies
  • 1946: Still in character from The Lost Weekend, Ray Milland staggers up to the podium, mumbles something about it being Sunday, and then pisses all over the front row of the theater
  • 1948: Unbeknownst to the stars arriving at L.A.'s Shrine Auditorium, the red carpet leads directly into a surprise hearing of the House Un-American Activities Committee
  • 1955: Judy Garland accidentally boos her own name when announced as a nominee
  • 1977: A sizzling Faye Dunaway accepts her Oscar while naked, and the censors fail to fuzz it out
  • 1982: Instead of the usual montage of actors who passed away the previous year, the Academy screens a reel eerily and accurately predicting who will die in the year to come
  • 1994: After winning Best Actor for Philadelphia, Tom Hanks cracks up the crowd with his lighthearted jokes and reminds everyone that "it's just a stupid movie"
  • 2005: After host Chris Rock gets a few laughs at Jude Law's expense, Sean Penn joins in the fun by† pretending to be a humorless, pretentious asshole

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