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Airport Security Oversights

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What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates

Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.
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Airport Security Oversights

A Connecticut man was recently arrested for carrying a stick of dynamite in his checked luggage on a flight back from Brazil. Here are some other items that have passed through airport security recently:

  • July 24, Houston to New York: Unauthorized liquids, cleverly hidden within cell membranes of passenger
  • July 28, Portland, OR to Topeka, KS: 16 pounds of science textbooks
  • Aug. 15, Pittsburgh to Detroit: VHS tape of Nothing But Trouble, starring Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd
  • Aug. 19, Washington, DC to Darfur: Hope
  • Aug. 23, Bangkok, Thailand to Orlando, FL: Monkey's paw with one wish left
  • Aug. 29, São Paulo, Brazil to Hartford, CT: More mining equipment, including Komatsu PC400LC-7 deep excavator
  • Aug. 31, Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles: Russell Crowe
  • Sept. 3, London to New York: A few Muslim people may have slipped through with their dignity

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