Airport Security Oversights

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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.


Airport Security Oversights

A Connecticut man was recently arrested for carrying a stick of dynamite in his checked luggage on a flight back from Brazil. Here are some other items that have passed through airport security recently:

  • July 24, Houston to New York: Unauthorized liquids, cleverly hidden within cell membranes of passenger
  • July 28, Portland, OR to Topeka, KS: 16 pounds of science textbooks
  • Aug. 15, Pittsburgh to Detroit: VHS tape of Nothing But Trouble, starring Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd
  • Aug. 19, Washington, DC to Darfur: Hope
  • Aug. 23, Bangkok, Thailand to Orlando, FL: Monkey's paw with one wish left
  • Aug. 29, São Paulo, Brazil to Hartford, CT: More mining equipment, including Komatsu PC400LC-7 deep excavator
  • Aug. 31, Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles: Russell Crowe
  • Sept. 3, London to New York: A few Muslim people may have slipped through with their dignity