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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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All-Time Greatest Upsets

Stanford's defeat of top-ranked USC is merely the latest upset in a season that has already held more than its share. Onion Sports runs down some of the most shocking ever:

1919: At the Memorial Stakes, the dominant favorite Man o' War is defeated in a surprise victory by the most unlikely of winners, a horse named "Mob-Owned 22-1 Long Shot"

1948: Harry Truman defeats Thomas Dewey in a boxing match held to decide the presidency

1953: In the first game of their long and storied rivalry, the Harlem Globetrotters upset the Washington Generals, even though the heavily favored Generals appeared to be the much stronger and fundamentally sound team

1969: The Baltimore Colts let the New York Jets win Super Bowl III because they would just feel like hell if that nice young man Joe Namath wound up looking like an idiot in front of everybody

1980: A nation in need of hope witnesses the famous "Miracle On Ice" Olympic hockey game, in which coach Ronald Reagan leads his scrappy team of underdogs to victories against Russia, Iran, and evil

1991: Duke somehow pulls off a championship game victory over heavily favored UNLV despite having Christian Laettner on their team

1994: Despite incredibly long odds at the start of the season, no one wins the World Series

2000: Iowan-born American wrestler Rulon Gardner stuns Russian Alexander Karelin for the Olympic gold, a feat made more impressive by the fact that Gardner was involved in an ATV crash, a hunting mishap, and two bar fights during their match

2005: In perhaps the biggest shocker in the history of baseball, the Pittsburgh Pirates almost beat the New York Yankees in an extra-inning interleague game

2006: In the long-standing rivalry between Jason Kidd and his wife, Kidd had been absolutely dominant; however, she finally turns the tables on him using a quick left hook and a soldering iron

2007: Appalachian State beats Michigan on a last-second blocked field goal, making Michigan fans the most upset in history

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