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Facebook’s Plans For The Future

From instant articles to live video, Facebook continues to look for new ways to expand its reach and offerings. Here are some plans on the horizon for the social media giant

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Alternative Energy Projects

The U.S. Department of Interior just approved Cape Wind, the nation's first offshore wind farm, which will be built five miles from Cape Cod. Here are some of the other projects awaiting approval:

  • Gulf of Mexico solar-powered oil-spill refinery
  • The Central Texas Lance-Armstrong-on-a-Stationary-Bike Initiative
  • The Nevada Battery Hole, a two-mile deep shaft that the nation's dead batteries will be thrown into
  • The Alabama Abdomeno-Thermal Energy Program, a proposal to bore deep shafts through the surface of the state's rotund citizenry to capture the natural heat emanating from their roiling liquid cores
  • Georgia's 100% Hazard-Free Miracle Electricity Program
  • The Salt Lake City Prayer Turbine
  • Solar PanelVille application on Facebook
  • The Alan Parsons Project Project, a program aimed at harnessing the unique onstage electricity that is generated when the legendary prog rockers play live

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