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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Alternative Energy Projects

The U.S. Department of Interior just approved Cape Wind, the nation's first offshore wind farm, which will be built five miles from Cape Cod. Here are some of the other projects awaiting approval:

  • Gulf of Mexico solar-powered oil-spill refinery
  • The Central Texas Lance-Armstrong-on-a-Stationary-Bike Initiative
  • The Nevada Battery Hole, a two-mile deep shaft that the nation's dead batteries will be thrown into
  • The Alabama Abdomeno-Thermal Energy Program, a proposal to bore deep shafts through the surface of the state's rotund citizenry to capture the natural heat emanating from their roiling liquid cores
  • Georgia's 100% Hazard-Free Miracle Electricity Program
  • The Salt Lake City Prayer Turbine
  • Solar PanelVille application on Facebook
  • The Alan Parsons Project Project, a program aimed at harnessing the unique onstage electricity that is generated when the legendary prog rockers play live
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