Alternative Energy Projects

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Vol 46 Issue 52

Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

An article in the Journal Of Cosmology suggests that in order to make a manned flight to Mars an affordable reality in the near future, plans should not include a return trip.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Alternative Energy Projects

The U.S. Department of Interior just approved Cape Wind, the nation's first offshore wind farm, which will be built five miles from Cape Cod. Here are some of the other projects awaiting approval:

  • Gulf of Mexico solar-powered oil-spill refinery
  • The Central Texas Lance-Armstrong-on-a-Stationary-Bike Initiative
  • The Nevada Battery Hole, a two-mile deep shaft that the nation's dead batteries will be thrown into
  • The Alabama Abdomeno-Thermal Energy Program, a proposal to bore deep shafts through the surface of the state's rotund citizenry to capture the natural heat emanating from their roiling liquid cores
  • Georgia's 100% Hazard-Free Miracle Electricity Program
  • The Salt Lake City Prayer Turbine
  • Solar PanelVille application on Facebook
  • The Alan Parsons Project Project, a program aimed at harnessing the unique onstage electricity that is generated when the legendary prog rockers play live
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