adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

American Secrets For Sale

Space scientist Stewart David Nozette pleaded guilty to a charge of attempting to sell classified information to an FBI agent posing as an Israeli spy. Here are some other secrets people are trying to sell to foreign intelligence agencies:

  • What "USA" really stands for
  • Comprehensive list of the easiest gals in mid-Atlantic region
  • Hoover Dam is constructed entirely of inflatable materials and is vulnerable to anyone with a pointy object
  • Most all surfing is done by these three brothers
  • Ingredients in a perfect Tom Collins
  • A considerable number of Americans are actually introverted and/or understand irony
  • Bunch of worthless shit they can already find on WikiLeaks for free
  • Lyrics to Toby Keith's latest anthem, which give clues as to whose ass America's boot will be put in next
  • We're actually a pretty nice group of people

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close