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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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America's Aging Infrastructure

Recent incidents, including a bridge collapse in Minneapolis and a steam tunnel explosion in New York City, have brought the nation's aging infrastructure into the spotlight. What are some of the country's major problem areas?

I-71, Columbus, OH: Years of poor maintenance have led to erosion and a rise in quicksand traps that swallow semitrucks whole

Four Corners Power Plant, Fruitland, NM: Aging gerbil no longer able to power Southwest

Water Treatment Facility, Missoula, MT: Constructed on Indian burial ground, ancient curse causing foundation to settle unevenly

Disney World Monorail, Orlando, FL: Once purported to run entirely on happy thoughts, the 36-year-old Disney monorail system has relied increasingly on regular electricity

Statue of Liberty, New York City: Lady Liberty is showing stress fractures and other structural damage following more than a century of being leaned on by huddled masses

Seven Mile Bridge, Key West, FL: Overburdened by discarded responsibilities

Levee system, metropolitan New Orleans: Actually, it's in perfect condition

More from this section

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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