America's Most Flawed Sports Facilities

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Vol 45 Issue 29

Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentation

CHARLOTTE, NC—Sources confirmed that the wow factor—an intangible set of viscerally pleasing features that instill onlookers with a feeling of exhilaration and intense interest—was successfully added to this Thursday’s upcoming PowerPoint presentation.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Comedy

America's Most Flawed Sports Facilities

Minute Maid Park: Jesus Christ, a hill in centerfield? With a flagpole in play? What the hell were the Astros thinking?

Qwest Field: The Seahawks organization is unable to explain how, during two years of construction, no one noticed they were building the stadium upside down

Miller Park: Reviews are mixed on the innovative fan-shaped retractable roof, as it allows fans to watch a game in the rain but also crushes everyone in the upper deck to death

Daytona International Speedway: This world-class racing facility has been known to suddenly fill up with tens of thousands of backwards mouth-breathing louts for no discernable reason

Ebbets Field: Is actually a Popeyes Chicken, and not a very clean one, either

Prudential Center: While using dry ice on the rink certainly makes the New Jersey Devils appear more ominous, stopping play to replace the surface every two minutes is a pain in the ass

Coors Field: The beer tap in the center field wall pours the absolute hands-down shittiest beer imaginable

Lambeau Field: There is absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with Lambeau Field

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