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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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'America's Most Wanted' Canceled

After 23 years on the air, America's Most Wanted—the Fox show that dramatizes real crimes in order to assist in the capture of suspects—will no longer air as a weekly program. Here are some of the show's highlights:

  • 1987: The concept is born after a desperate staffer at the fledgling Fox network decides to pitch everything he sees in line at the post office as a television show
  • 1988: The show's pilot airs, and producers nearly call it quits after the first tip they receive proves incorrect
  • 1989: The show loses an intense bidding war with Cops to secure the rights to Inner Circle's smash hit "Bad Boys," forcing producers to go with the program's now iconic theme "Two Hearts" by Phil Collins
  • 1992: For five episodes, host John Walsh unsuccessfully tries out a new sign-off, "Keep helping us catch those fuckin' crooks"
  • 1999: The Cormier family of Gainesville, FL is elated when the program does a really great reenactment of Uncle Mike's armed robbery
  • 2005: To Catch A Predator and America's Most Wanted show up at the same house at the same time
  • 2006: John Walsh is accused of abusing the resources of his show when he devotes an entire episode to finding his missing keys
  • 2008: The show celebrates the arrest of the 1,000th actor mistaken for the rapist he portrayed
  • 2011: After an episode reenacting the 9/11 attacks, the tip that leads to Osama bin Laden's assassination is credited to an Abbottabad, Pakistan housewife who watches the show religiously
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