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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Amusement Park Rides Under Scrutiny

Following the recent tragedy in which a Chinese ride called Space Journey malfunctioned and killed six people, many carnival rides are being more carefully inspected. Here are the reasons some of our favorites are being closed:

  • Accidentally shaped like giant penis
  • Wasn't bringing in the chumps like it used to
  • A few cats living in the gears, so what?
  • Contained too many racist depictions of the Chinese
  • Exceeded regulatory limit on miscarriages per hundred rides
  • Centripetal force exceeded tensile strength
  • Only guy who knew how to set it up choked on hot dog
  • Some kid barfed and the barf flew back and hit another kid in the face and he choked on it and died, so we heard

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