adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Athletes And Religion

Tim Tebow has reinvigorated discussion on athletes using the field as a pulpit, but of course he's hardly the first to do so.

  • Bill Belichick: Had God killed in 2003
  • Barry Bonds: Pointed to the sky after hitting his 756th career home run, mocking the weak God he'd bested with the power of science
  • Muhammad Ali: Made a principled religious stand against serving in Vietnam, although there were plenty of other fine reasons to want to stay out of that one
  • Tiger Woods: As a practicing Buddhist, he subscribes to the Four Noble Truths: Life is suffering; the origin of suffering is attachment; the cessation of suffering is attainable; when the river's running red, take the dirt road
  • Hakeem Olajuwon: In 1995, named the NBA Player of the Month during Ramadan, despite fasting that caused him to lose weight and shrink 9 inches
  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: A proud Muslim who changed his name to reflect his faith, Abdul-Jabbar is certainly glad he played when he did
  • Sandy Koufax: Jew
  • Secretariat: Famously changed name to Yousef al-Salaam after winning 1973 Preakness
  • Reggie White: Credited his 198.5 sacks to Jesus even though they were actually granted by Indra, the Hindu deity of war, rainfall, and the Green Bay Packers

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close