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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Athletes In Politics

Every now and then, someone from the world of sports decides his experience will translate to the political arena. Here’s how that has worked out so far:

  • Richard Petty: Lost his bid to be North Carolina’s secretary of state, but not before his campaign skidded out of control and exploded, killing two other candidates
  • Gerald Ford: Sort of fell into both starting at linebacker for Michigan and becoming the president of the United States
  • Jim Bunning: Deceptively mediocre pitching paved way for conspicuously bad senatoring
  • Ichiro Suzuki: Has quietly been doing a really solid job as governor of Washington for the past 10 years
  • Jack Kemp: With the vice presidency all but secured, the former Buffalo Bill made the mistake of bringing Scott Norwood on to help his campaign in the final days
  • Jesse Ventura: Although many would argue he hardly qualifies as a real athlete, many would also argue he hardly qualifies as a real politician
  • Ronald Reagan: His many detractors maintain that history has been too generous to his legacy as a football player at Eureka fucking College
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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