Athletes In Trouble With The Law

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Vol 43 Issue 34

Pain Medication Use Skyrocketing

Since 1997, the use of prescription painkillers in the United States has risen 88 percent, and oxyxocone, the main ingredient in OxyContin, has...
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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Athletes In Trouble With The Law

Michael Vick's criminal case may be dramatic, but the situation is hardly new. Onion Sports takes a quick look at athletes who landed on the wrong side of the law:

1985: Pete Rose receives a lifetime suspension from baseball after foolishly betting that he is too famous to get in trouble

1987: Dominique Wilkins is cleared of child-abuse charges when the "child" he was seen hitting is identified as Spud Webb

1995: Michael Jordan shoots and nearly kills a Chicago-area police officer, but the officer is so happy to be associated with Michael Jordan that no charges are filed

1996: Michael Irvin's cocaine possession charges are dropped when Irvin is able to prove that he is a member of the Dallas Cowboys

2000: Ray Lewis is investigated in connection with the murder of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar, convicted of obstructing justice, and sentenced to five years of community service as a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens

2001-2007: NFL wideout Muhsin Muhammad is taken into custody three times a week for having a suspicious name

2002: Ex-New Jersey Net Jayson Williams is arrested for killing his limousine driver and sentenced to 15 years in court 

2003: Kobe Bryant pleads not guilty to sexual assault charges, forcing authorities to let him go

2004: Ricky Williams tests positive for not giving a shit about football

2006: Barbaro's involvement with gambling comes to a head when organized crime enforcers have his leg broken during the Preakness Stakes

2007: Both civil authorities and NFL officials become involved when Green Bay Packers middle linebacker Nick Barnett first pushes down a woman for throwing a drink in his face, then performs an excessively long celebratory dance over her

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