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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Athletes In Trouble With The Law

Michael Vick's criminal case may be dramatic, but the situation is hardly new. Onion Sports takes a quick look at athletes who landed on the wrong side of the law:

1985: Pete Rose receives a lifetime suspension from baseball after foolishly betting that he is too famous to get in trouble

1987: Dominique Wilkins is cleared of child-abuse charges when the "child" he was seen hitting is identified as Spud Webb

1995: Michael Jordan shoots and nearly kills a Chicago-area police officer, but the officer is so happy to be associated with Michael Jordan that no charges are filed

1996: Michael Irvin's cocaine possession charges are dropped when Irvin is able to prove that he is a member of the Dallas Cowboys

2000: Ray Lewis is investigated in connection with the murder of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar, convicted of obstructing justice, and sentenced to five years of community service as a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens

2001-2007: NFL wideout Muhsin Muhammad is taken into custody three times a week for having a suspicious name

2002: Ex-New Jersey Net Jayson Williams is arrested for killing his limousine driver and sentenced to 15 years in court 

2003: Kobe Bryant pleads not guilty to sexual assault charges, forcing authorities to let him go

2004: Ricky Williams tests positive for not giving a shit about football

2006: Barbaro's involvement with gambling comes to a head when organized crime enforcers have his leg broken during the Preakness Stakes

2007: Both civil authorities and NFL officials become involved when Green Bay Packers middle linebacker Nick Barnett first pushes down a woman for throwing a drink in his face, then performs an excessively long celebratory dance over her

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