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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Augusta National's Social Progress

The exclusive Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia is one of golf’s most famous courses, best known for hosting the Masters, as well as its history of discriminatory membership policies. Onion Sports takes a look at the club’s long history of enlightenment and tolerance.

  • 1935: Unknowingly admits first gay member
  • 1940: Permits wives of members to sniff grass on shoes of male members after they leave the premises
  • 1964: Lynching tree removed
  • 1975: Begins paying black employees
  • 1983: Players are no longer required to use Augusta’s all-black club caddies at the Masters, though white caddies still must dance and play the jug in between holes
  • 1987: Official handicap parking sign installed, replacing previous one that just made a lot of fun of disabled people
  • 1990: Ron Townsend becomes the first black member of Augusta after assuring the governing board that he is rich, unpleasant, and disparaging toward women
  • 1997: Tiger Woods breaks down Augusta’s racial barriers by becoming the first Thai man to win the Masters
  • 2012: Extends invitations to two women for the first time in its history, a testament to the notion that the club’s attitudes have progressed into last century


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