Auto Industry Crisis

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Vol 44 Issue 48

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Auto Industry Crisis

The big three American automobile manufacturers spent much of last week lobbying Congress for a portion of the economic bailout, lest they go under. How did they get to this point?

1970: United Auto Workers fights for and wins 12 paid hangover days a year for its members

1977: Inspired by the hit motion picture The Spy Who Loved Me, Chrysler wastes four years trying to manufacture a car that turns into a submarine

1985: Ford spends the majority of its R & D budget designing sweet new "Chevy Sucks" decals

1991: Sales of the Pontiac Trans Am plunge after the car officially loses its pussy magnet designation

1997: Having meticulously crafted the 1998 Dodge Dakota to boast best-in-class payload and towing capacity, Chrysler decides to rest on its laurels for the next decade

1999: Chevrolet is sued for millions after it is discovered there is already a song named "Like a Rock" with the exact same lyrics and melody

2000: GM unveils the Buick Carbon, America's first mass-produced gas-coal hybrid vehicle

2001: At the Los Angeles Auto Show, GM introduces the Pontiac Aztek to raucous laughter, then stunned silence, then blood curdling screams of horror

2006: Oprah says her new favorite thing is non-American cars

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