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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Baseball’s Annual Awards: 2011 Edition

It's that time of year again when baseball gears up to honor its best players, pitchers, managers, and rookies. Here's how Onion Sports sees it:

  • NL MVP: Justin Upton—Leads Diamondbacks in every offensive category, which sounds unimpressive, but they are in first place in the NL West, which also sounds unimpressive
  • AL MVP: Curtis Granderson—With his impressive run production numbers, Granderson has kept a team with only a handful of All-Stars and future Hall of Famers afloat in the AL East
  • NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay—Much easier to just add a year to the plaque he received last year than go through all the trouble of preparing a new plaque for someone else
  • AL Cy Young: Adam Dunn—Dunn's historic performance this season did more for American League pitching than anyone who actually took the mound
  • NL Rookie of the Year: Vance Worley—Phillies pitcher really made name for himself this year as the guy who's pitching for some reason instead of Lee, Halladay, Hamels, or Oswalt
  • AL Rookie of the Year: Neftali Feliz—Has done a great job defending his 2010 title
  • NL Manager of the Year: Kirk Gibson—Made a young Arizona team relevant to a nation that doesn't care about youth, Arizona, or teamwork
  • AL Manager of the Year: Joe Girardi—His team has the best record, therefore he is the best manager. Why do people need to vote on this again?
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