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The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Baseball's Best Individual Postseason Performances

As the baseball playoffs finally begin, Onion Sports remembers the men who played their best when their play finally mattered:

1905: Christy Mathewson pitches three shutouts against the Athletics in the World Series, as "runs scored" were not invented until 1923

1919: White Sox pitcher Lefty Williams loses a World Series–record three games, then convinces about 50 people that he didn't do that on purpose

1954: Willie Mays makes a catch or something

1956: The Yankees announce that Don Larsen has pitched the first perfect game in World Series history, ignoring the fact that Larsen gave up one run on six hits and three walks

1963: Experts estimate that Sandy Koufax saved hundreds, possibly even thousands, of potential runs by striking out 15 batters in Game 1 of the World Series

1977: During his first at bat in Game 2 of the NLCS, Dodgers left fielder Dusty Baker hits foul balls for more than five straight hours, wearing out every Phillies pitcher on the roster for the rest of the series

1994: During a crucial World Series Game 7, Brett Favre beats the Bears in monsoon conditions in a 33-6 romp featuring an NFL record-tying 99-yard touchdown pass to Robert Brooks

2001: Despite winning only one game compared to Randy Johnson's three, Curt Schilling does a heroic job of standing next to Johnson to garner a share of the World Series MVP award

2003: In Game 5 of the ALCS, Adam Kennedy hits three home runs, makes an unbelievable defensive play, and still has time to get home to see his children and make love to his beautiful wife

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