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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.
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Baseball's Best Individual Postseason Performances

As the baseball playoffs finally begin, Onion Sports remembers the men who played their best when their play finally mattered:

1905: Christy Mathewson pitches three shutouts against the Athletics in the World Series, as "runs scored" were not invented until 1923

1919: White Sox pitcher Lefty Williams loses a World Series–record three games, then convinces about 50 people that he didn't do that on purpose

1954: Willie Mays makes a catch or something

1956: The Yankees announce that Don Larsen has pitched the first perfect game in World Series history, ignoring the fact that Larsen gave up one run on six hits and three walks

1963: Experts estimate that Sandy Koufax saved hundreds, possibly even thousands, of potential runs by striking out 15 batters in Game 1 of the World Series

1977: During his first at bat in Game 2 of the NLCS, Dodgers left fielder Dusty Baker hits foul balls for more than five straight hours, wearing out every Phillies pitcher on the roster for the rest of the series

1994: During a crucial World Series Game 7, Brett Favre beats the Bears in monsoon conditions in a 33-6 romp featuring an NFL record-tying 99-yard touchdown pass to Robert Brooks

2001: Despite winning only one game compared to Randy Johnson's three, Curt Schilling does a heroic job of standing next to Johnson to garner a share of the World Series MVP award

2003: In Game 5 of the ALCS, Adam Kennedy hits three home runs, makes an unbelievable defensive play, and still has time to get home to see his children and make love to his beautiful wife

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