Batman Turns 75

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Vol 50 Issue 12

Eating Small Meals Throughout Day Doesn’t Help Weight Loss

Contradicting the theory that eating small meals throughout the day is effective for weight loss, a new study has found that eating frequent small portions of food doesn’t actually help people lose weight any more than those who eat three meals per ...

Apple To Diversify Emojis

Responding to criticism that their emojis aren’t diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis.

Mark From Sales Currently Leading Bracket Pool

FINDLAY, OH—Following the first four Sweet 16 games of this year’s NCAA Tournament, sources at local marketing firm Jones-Brannon Media confirmed Friday that Mark from sales is currently leading the office bracket pool.

4 Senators Mauled During Congressional Tiger Show

WASHINGTON—Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audienc...

Study: Women Fake Orgasms To Increase Sexual Arousal

A new study has found that in addition to faking orgasms for the purpose of protecting a partner’s ego and ending sex, many women fake orgasms in order to increase sexual arousal so they can work themselves up to an actual orgasm.
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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Batman Turns 75

Sunday marks the 75th anniversary of Batman’s first appearance in DC Comics. Here is a timeline of important events in the evolution of the Caped Crusader from comic book hero to billion-dollar franchise:

  • 1939: Batman makes his first appearance in Detective Comics, which up until this point had focused primarily on the bureaucratic red tape plaguing Gotham’s city employees
  • 1941: Batman and Commissioner Gordon kiss for the first time
  • 1942: Creator Bob Kane’s discovery of his girlfriend’s affair inspires the short-lived villain Anthony
  • 1953: Batman takes it easy this year
  • 1955: Beginning of Batman’s 10-year run as face of Marlboro
  • 1985: Fans clamor for 256-page special issue detailing Wayne Enterprises’ finances
  • 1991: Joel Schumacher directs Dying Young a cancer-themed romantic drama starring Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott. His aesthetic choices proved to Hollywood that Schumacher would make an excellent choice to revamp the Batman film franchise.
  • 1997: While scaling the side of a 30-story apartment building, Batman suffers a crippling anxiety attack after realizing that he doesn’t have any superpowers
  • 2003: Batman protects the Wayne fortune by intimidating a senator into blocking legislation increasing taxes on carried interest
  • 2005: Fans applaud Batman Begins for finally bringing gritty realism to a cartoon about a man who dresses up at night and fights a clown
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