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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Batman Turns 75

Sunday marks the 75th anniversary of Batman’s first appearance in DC Comics. Here is a timeline of important events in the evolution of the Caped Crusader from comic book hero to billion-dollar franchise:

  • 1939: Batman makes his first appearance in Detective Comics, which up until this point had focused primarily on the bureaucratic red tape plaguing Gotham’s city employees
  • 1941: Batman and Commissioner Gordon kiss for the first time
  • 1942: Creator Bob Kane’s discovery of his girlfriend’s affair inspires the short-lived villain Anthony
  • 1953: Batman takes it easy this year
  • 1955: Beginning of Batman’s 10-year run as face of Marlboro
  • 1985: Fans clamor for 256-page special issue detailing Wayne Enterprises’ finances
  • 1991: Joel Schumacher directs Dying Young a cancer-themed romantic drama starring Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott. His aesthetic choices proved to Hollywood that Schumacher would make an excellent choice to revamp the Batman film franchise.
  • 1997: While scaling the side of a 30-story apartment building, Batman suffers a crippling anxiety attack after realizing that he doesn’t have any superpowers
  • 2003: Batman protects the Wayne fortune by intimidating a senator into blocking legislation increasing taxes on carried interest
  • 2005: Fans applaud Batman Begins for finally bringing gritty realism to a cartoon about a man who dresses up at night and fights a clown

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