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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Beastie Boys Release New Album

The Beastie Boys have released a new album, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two, the hip-hop trio's eighth in 25 years. Here are some of the highlights from the group's career:

  • 1979: Mike D's mom throws away his best porno mag, resulting in years of psychotherapy
  • 1983: The group crank calls Carvel Ice Cream headquarters and is caught off guard when Cooky Puss is put on the phone as requested
  • 1987: The music video for "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)" first airs on MTV, forever altering the way rap music is collectively screamed into landline telephones
  • 1989: Jesus Christ, Paul's Boutique came out 22 years ago? Jesus Christ
  • 1994: Michael "Mike D" Diamond's parents discover an Ill Communication CD in the family car and are very disappointed to learn that their son is a multiplatinum-selling hip-hop artist
  • 2004–2005: MCA enters a deep, unwavering Buddhist meditative state in which he generates every known rhyme for the word "ill"
  • 2007: Midnight release of The Mix-Up is canceled when it's revealed the Beasties and their legion of fans all have to get up early the next morning to drive their kids to middle school
  • 2009: Adam Yauch announces that he is undergoing treatment for cancer, with a special guest appearance by Biz Markie

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