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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Best MLB Stadiums

With opening day rapidly approaching, Onion Sports provides a helpful guide to the greatest ballparks in Major League Baseball.

  • PNC Park: With its picturesque skyline views and fan-friendly amenities, PNC Park would be a great place to watch any team other than the Pirates
  • Wrigley Field: The second-oldest major league baseball stadium has 41,000 seats that can fit roughly 18,000 Chicago Cubs fans
  • AT&T Park: Offers a thrilling activity in the bay just outside the stadium where kayakers fight to the death to please throngs of bloodthirsty onlookers
  • The Coliseum: Home of the Oakland A’s, it boasts all four bases, a pitcher’s mound, and an outfield
  • Minute Maid Park: While the retractable roof is impressive, the real gems of this park are the 1,086 black flags hanging from the rafters that commemorate every Astros loss since the park opened in 2000
  • Tropicana Field: Has over 40,000 great empty seats for every Rays game
  • Coors Field: Home runs abound in Denver where the air is thin and the outfield fence is 150 feet from home
  • Marlins Park: The beloved establishment recently installed a gigantic statue in center field of Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria flipping off all the fans while defecating on a miniature version of Miami
  • U.S. Cellular Field: Named in honor of beloved White Sox manager Upwood Sidney Cellular
  • Citizens Bank Park: Philadelphia’s downtown stadium offers fantastic sight lines, delicious local grub, and comfortable seats from which to scream racial epithets

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