Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Best Music Festivals Of Summer 2013

The summer music festival season is in full swing, with music fans gathering by the thousands at outdoor venues for a chance to see dozens of their favorite artists perform live. Here are some of the biggest music festivals of the summer:

  • UK Boglands 2013 Mudfest: Widely regarded as the world’s muddiest music festival, this year’s bands and concertgoers will gather in Scotland’s famed Muck Flats atop the submerged remains of last year’s bands and concertgoers
  • Bon Iver Playing Alone In An Empty Field: Fans are not allowed at this annual festival, as they would ruin the mood
  • Newport Folk Festival: Still shaken from the time Bob Dylan famously plugged in and played an electric set in 1963, this festival remains closed
  • The Students Of Mrs. Lee Summer Recital: Some 30,000 rowdy, college-aged attendees will congregate at Chambers Hall in Somerset, NJ to see how far each of Mrs. Lee’s piano students have come in the past year
  • Paulapalooza: Paul McCartney will not be in attendance, but Paula Cole is a “probably.” Paul Simon is a definite “no.” Paul Giamatti is not a musician but he said he’d come if Paul Shaffer came
  • Redwoods Treefest: Mumford and Sons will be playing somewhere in the forest, but the trees are so damn big, good luck finding them behind all their wide trunks
  • Ozfest: This non-music festival is certain to disappoint thousands of metal fans when they converge on rural Hoisington, KS for the small town’s annual parade and children’s costume contest honoring The Wizard Of Oz
  • Pitchfork Music Festival: As usual, fans will wait to cheer or pan a band’s performance until the set is complete and a large number ranging from 0.0 to 10.0 is displayed to the audience

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