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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Biggest All-Time NCAA Tournament Upsets

Either Butler or VCU will be in the NCAA Tournament's final game this year, raising the possibility of a historic upset and calling to mind these previous David-over-Goliath moments:

  • 1966: Texas Western shocks the nation by becoming the first team with an all-black starting five to win the national championship, a result that, in retrospect, isn't really all that surprising
  • 1983: NC State wins the title, an impressive feat considering players have to dodge coach Jim Valvano, who spends the entire game running on the court trying to hug someone
  • 1985: In the tournament's final game, little Villanova knocks out the powerhouse Hoyas by invoking the new "Patrick Ewing Will Never Again Win a Championship at Any Level" rule
  • 1986: Cleveland State's "run and stun" style, combining fast breaks and pressure defense, is more than a match for Indiana's style, which is getting yelled at constantly by its asshole coach
  • 1992: Defeating the heavily favored Wolverines for the championship, Duke ruins everything by proving that team discipline outlasts swagger and bravado
  • 2001: No. 2 seed Iowa State loses to some guy named Hampton
  • 2005: Vermont defeats Syracuse 60-57 in the first round when Orange great Derrick Coleman turns out to be a nonfactor in the game, having gone to the NBA 15 years previously
  • 2006: George Mason beats Wichita State, Michigan State, UConn, and UNC, an outcome some treat as so miraculous that the Patriots may as well be a festering sack of wet shit instead of a pretty good basketball team
  • 2011: Though most would say everyone should take a step back before classifying Morehead State's win over Louisville as one of the all-time great upsets ever, we have space to fill

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