adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Biggest Busts In NBA Draft History

As the NBA Draft approaches, Onion Sports looks at some of the historic mistakes teams have made picking new talent:

1891: James Naismith, the inventor of basketball, picks Joey Farnath to play center on the red team, as he is not yet aware how great a disadvantage being 4'5" will prove in the new game

1966: After observing the vast breadth and depth of his basketball knowledge, the New York Knicks just assume that Marv Albert will be able to play

1984: Michael Jordan is selected third overall, but never lives up to expectations, batting .202 with 50 career RBI

1989: With the second overall pick, the Boston Celtics select Len Bias instead of someone who is not going to die

1993: The Washington Bullets are disappointed when their second-round pick, the 7'7" Croation Gheorghe Muresan who doesn't know how to play basketball, performs like he doesn't know how to play basketball

1994: Grant Hill is selected third overall by the Detroit Pistons and breaks both wrists while holding up his new team's jersey

2001: Kwame Brown turns out to be a bust, though, with his height, cornrows, and frame, Washington Wizards scouts and management still contend that he "really looks like a good basketball player"

2003: LeBron James is selected first overall by the Cleveland Cavaliers in what would become one of the greatest busts in NBA history, not for the Cavaliers, but for James

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close