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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Biggest Busts In NBA Draft History

As the NBA Draft approaches, Onion Sports looks at some of the historic mistakes teams have made picking new talent:

1891: James Naismith, the inventor of basketball, picks Joey Farnath to play center on the red team, as he is not yet aware how great a disadvantage being 4'5" will prove in the new game

1966: After observing the vast breadth and depth of his basketball knowledge, the New York Knicks just assume that Marv Albert will be able to play

1984: Michael Jordan is selected third overall, but never lives up to expectations, batting .202 with 50 career RBI

1989: With the second overall pick, the Boston Celtics select Len Bias instead of someone who is not going to die

1993: The Washington Bullets are disappointed when their second-round pick, the 7'7" Croation Gheorghe Muresan who doesn't know how to play basketball, performs like he doesn't know how to play basketball

1994: Grant Hill is selected third overall by the Detroit Pistons and breaks both wrists while holding up his new team's jersey

2001: Kwame Brown turns out to be a bust, though, with his height, cornrows, and frame, Washington Wizards scouts and management still contend that he "really looks like a good basketball player"

2003: LeBron James is selected first overall by the Cleveland Cavaliers in what would become one of the greatest busts in NBA history, not for the Cavaliers, but for James

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