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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Biggest Busts In The History Of The NFL Draft

For every draft selection that goes on to be a hero for his team, 10 more fade into obscurity. Still others achieve infamy through overhype and underperformance. Onion Sports remembers some of the worst:

Brett Favre: In his entire career thus far, this second-round pick has not yet blocked a single field-goal attempt

Sammie Smith: Right after choosing Smith, Dolphins coaches were stunned to learn that this running back completely lacked professional experience and had never actually played in an NFL game in his life

Lawrence Phillips: The St. Louis Rams knew he would be trouble on draft day when, as his name was being announced by Commissioner Tagliabue, Phillips was beating his girlfriend instead of paying attention to the selections

Terrell Owens: Despite occasional drops, he was not so much a bust for the 49ers football-wise, but in terms of being a normal human being with decent comportment and adequate human compassion, he has certainly not panned out the way his mother probably would have intended

Eli Manning: Drafted first overall by San Diego in 2004, Manning has yet to play one single game as a Charger

Keith McCants: Left Tampa Bay Buccaneers scrambling to recover at the 1990 draft when McCants, a No. 4 pick, retired immediately after his selection, saying he just wanted to see how high he'd be drafted

Tony Mandarich: This college-standout offensive tackle was selected by the Packers in the 1989 draft ahead of Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas, Deion Sanders, Eric Metcalf, Andre Rison, Steve Atwater, and the entire starting lineup of the 1993 NFL Champion Dallas Cowboys

Joe Montana: Selected by San Francisco with the 82nd overall pick of the 1979 draft, the 49ers expected Montana to be a solid second-string quarterback, but he disappointed everyone by winning four Super Bowls, two MVPs, and becoming one of the greatest football players of all time

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