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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Biggest Upsets Of The Sochi Olympics

In major upsets, both snowboarder Shaun White and downhill skier Bode Miller came up short of the platform in their signature events at the Winter Olympic games. Here are some of the shocking surprises so far in Sochi:

  • In a momentous upset within the Halberstrom household, youngest daughter Libby sides with Dad and Brett, resulting in a 3-2 vote to watch Undercover Boss instead of figure skating
  • 15-year-old figure skating phenom Julia Lipnitskaia of Russia overtakes U.S. favorite Ashley Wagner as the one your grandma likes
  • Canada plays the U.S. in women’s hockey, upsetting a set of gender norms that help keep our society stable
  • All those guys somehow fit into that bobsled
  • The U.S. hockey team defeats the U.S.S.R. in Lake Placid, which for Dad still feels like it was yesterday
  • All-black Carter High School Olympic figure skating team manage to defeat rivals from St. Dominic’s Prep after inspiring speech from coach
  • Against all odds, Russian folk hero Ivan Tsarevich captures the Fire Bird’s feather, befriends the Gray Wolf, and lives happily ever after with Helen, his beloved
  • The irrepressible biathlon article “Belarus’ Domracheva Wins Olympic Gold” manages to exit the 24-hour news cycle in a mere 15 minutes, setting a new Olympic record
  • Someone not from the U.S. wins an event

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