Blackwater In The United States

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Vol 43 Issue 40

Oct. 4, 1951

Morty And Betty Crocker Executed For Selling Top-Secret Cake Recipes to Reds
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Blackwater In The United States

Since it was reported that Blackwater killed more than 25 Iraqi civilians in a seemingly unprovoked attack, it has also come to light that the security firm has numerous domestic contracts, including post-Katrina security and aiding in the drug war. What other domestic operations is it involved in?

Providing logistics, intelligence, counterterrorism, surveillance, face-painting, and canine services for the Nashua Kids Day Out! Festival

Authorized to use extreme force when keeping the greens at Pebble Beach squirrel-free

Strictly enforcing "You Must Be This Tall" markers at amusement parks

Reenacting Army Rangers' Somalia street battle in high school gymnasiums as part of Army recruitment drive

Crowd control outside the Today show

Ass-kicking as necessary to ensure success of No Child Left Behind Act

Checking receipts at Best Buy

Killing people who look like they're up to something

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