adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

Blackwater In The United States

Since it was reported that Blackwater killed more than 25 Iraqi civilians in a seemingly unprovoked attack, it has also come to light that the security firm has numerous domestic contracts, including post-Katrina security and aiding in the drug war. What other domestic operations is it involved in?

Providing logistics, intelligence, counterterrorism, surveillance, face-painting, and canine services for the Nashua Kids Day Out! Festival

Authorized to use extreme force when keeping the greens at Pebble Beach squirrel-free

Strictly enforcing "You Must Be This Tall" markers at amusement parks

Reenacting Army Rangers' Somalia street battle in high school gymnasiums as part of Army recruitment drive

Crowd control outside the Today show

Ass-kicking as necessary to ensure success of No Child Left Behind Act

Checking receipts at Best Buy

Killing people who look like they're up to something

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close