adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Breaking Down The New NFL Labor Agreement

The lockout has ended, and NFL players are finally in training camp under a new deal with the league. We look at exactly what the players and owners agreed to.

  • Value of touchdowns has been increased by 10 percent, making them now worth 6.6 points
  • Undrafted free agents may now be referred to as “football-playing things” and “hunks of meat”
  • Tom Brady gets extra $75.91 out of new CBA
  • Schedule remains 16 games, but there will be two additional preseason games that count toward regular-season record
  • Teams are permitted and encouraged to terminate one player named Ray Lewis within the next 10 days
  • Nobody going to bother with whatever revenue Jacksonville Jaguars manage to collect
  • Really, neither side is ever going to feel like it’s making enough, so just expect to pay $65 for your favorite team's official T-shirt
  • Rookies will no longer be paid

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close