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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Breaking Down The New NFL Labor Agreement

The lockout has ended, and NFL players are finally in training camp under a new deal with the league. We look at exactly what the players and owners agreed to.

  • Value of touchdowns has been increased by 10 percent, making them now worth 6.6 points
  • Undrafted free agents may now be referred to as “football-playing things” and “hunks of meat”
  • Tom Brady gets extra $75.91 out of new CBA
  • Schedule remains 16 games, but there will be two additional preseason games that count toward regular-season record
  • Teams are permitted and encouraged to terminate one player named Ray Lewis within the next 10 days
  • Nobody going to bother with whatever revenue Jacksonville Jaguars manage to collect
  • Really, neither side is ever going to feel like it’s making enough, so just expect to pay $65 for your favorite team's official T-shirt
  • Rookies will no longer be paid

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