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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Breaking Down The Tournament's Top Seeds

Being a No. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament doesn't guarantee a Final Four berth, but it does automatically make your team the subject of in-depth analysis. Here are how the top four teams stack up:

OHIO STATE

  • Strengths: If you look closely, the numbers prove the Buckeyes have already won the tournament
  • Weaknesses: Because they can win playing high-tempo or low-tempo, they will lose when they forget to choose one

KANSAS

  • Strengths: In addition to strong shooting and defense, the Jayhawks have the added bonus of not being Duke
  • Weaknesses: Although the Morris twins have been solid all year, that doesn't change the fact that twins are weird

DUKE

  • Strengths: Blue Devils have the best chance of repeating as champions, since no other team won the tournament last year
  • Weaknesses: At this point, it' s no longer a good thing that Bobby Hurley's still on the team

PITT

  • Strengths: This tough defensive team won't get blown out when they lose early in the tournament
  • Weaknesses: Panthers have some players who can do it all; unfortunately, they also have players who literally can't do anything

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